I can’t believe he’s not bored yet. Rich could watch fishing shows until, well forever. If Connie didn’t ever say, “Okaaaay, I’m going to bed.” Rich wouldn’t lean forward slowly and pull himself out of his comfy chair. That’s what he calls it, the “Comfy Chair”. It doesn’t even look that nice, even the couch is better. My favorite place is the floor. If the “Comfy Chair” was kibble, than the floor is bacon. I’m telling you; it’s nice! It’s always cool and you can spread yourself out any way you like. Sometimes when no one is watching I like to lie on my back, stick my legs up, and pretend like I’m riding a bike. When anyone comes in the room I flip over real quick though. Haven’t been caught yet. I wish I could ride a bike. I wish a lot of things, like: that cats were slower or that people ate on the ground instead of at that stupid invention everyone calls a table. More than anything in the world though I wish that RICH WOULD CHANGE THE CHANNEL. I’m going crazy. This channel is starting to make me itch. Oh wait that’s not the television.
Anyways, Spooner, the dog next door told me that the next instance of time stopping is any minute now. If you’re human and reading this you’re probably like, “Yeah right, Pogo time doesn’t stop.” But I bet up until now you thought dogs didn’t write either. Shows how much you know. Time does stop. In fact it stops all the time. The thing is, when time stops so does everything else, except dogs of course. For some reason we’re free to roam as we please. This occasional sense of freedom really freaks some of my buddies out. Warren, the bulldog down the street, always has a mini panic attack. Sometimes we have to give him a paper bag to breathe into. (One time we tried to use one of those bags that we poop into but that made Warren faint. Another time we just gave him a bag with poop in it. That actually made his panic attack stop but he got really really mad because we put it too close to his face and poop got up his nose.) Fanny, one of the two poodles that lives behind me always tries to wake her owners up. But they can’t wake up, at least not until time starts again. So Fanny’s owners are always confused as to why they scratches on them.
Then there are the smart dogs like me who take advantage of their time away from time. I’ve been on roadtrips, learned how to weld, and gotten my bachelor’s degree, but this time I’ve got only one thing in mind…I’m going to change the channel.